I enjoyed this so much — your honesty and vulnerability really came through in this reflective post. It actually reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: “Loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you, but trusting them not to.” I’ve always connected with that.
True love requires a level of vulnerability and trust that goes far beyond the surface. When you open yourself to someone — your fears, your flaws, your heart…you’re giving them the ability to hurt you deeply, yet still choosing to take the risk for the sake of experiencing love fully. And that choice to trust anyway is what makes love meaningful.
I love that quote, and could not agree more. Honestly, through the nature of my content, I see SO many people out there who have clearly been hurt, and swear off love, or keep love at a distance in the guise of being “wise”, and my heart breaks for them. Bluntly, you will never ever have a truly fulfilling life without loving others unabashedly, and without the love of them. Period.
I could talk about how great this song fits with what you’re describing, or how perfect that photo of a cracked open (geddit? cracked *open* and *cracked* open?) door is, or—most importantly—the way you show the true internal pushing and pulling of your heart’s needs, wants… ‘Eloquence’ is the word that comes to mind..
You share vulnerable truths about yourself, and that’s brave, and that’s a big deal.
I think today, it hits me again just how vulnerable it is to love and be loved in return. Sounds so simple on its face, but to truly do this, you can’t hide behind a well-crafted persona or the ‘you’ being loved isn’t ever really you at all.
But, like you describe, if we unfurl our insides and let ourselves be seen..actually seen..including the parts we don’t much like.. we risk the ultimate rejection, don’t we?
And what if we don’t survive that? Because that’s how scary it can feel sometimes, I think.
Two internal instincts—the need to truly connect with someone else and the need to protect your own, deepest sense of self so that you actually feel worthy of being loved in the first place—these forces are at war within two people while all four forces cavort around on a minefield of possible hurts between the two.
It’s a wonder we’re out here still tryin’, am. I. right? 😂
I think maybe your answer would be that a really big love would be worth a really big risk.
And, against all my hard-earned-from-past-hurt ‘good judgement’ badges, I would absolutely, wholeheartedly agree.
“It’s a wonder we’re out here still tryin” is the realest shit ever. I legit think about that virtually daily. You’re so right about that, and the push pull of the two identities - protection and connection. We have an innate drive for both, how do we navigate who takes the drivers seat? I honestly don’t have an answer to that, not an eloquent one, I think it all depends on the other person and which identity they’re currently wrestling with. Hmmm, sounds like a great topic to explore!
I love this so much. Especially for the ones who've been hurt in the past. Sometimes we need to let go of control and let things happen naturally. We sometimes fight our own destiny and paths. I think we can all still be open to new possibilities in a safe way without compromising our boundaries.
I also know most ppl will read this and say yea but what if I let them in and get hurt? So to those ppl, at least be open to new possibilities, always remember u can still have your boundaries if it's not going your way. But what if it does? Either way you learn from it or you develop great connections.
Reading you transported me to the illusion of talking to an aware avoidant, and then to removing the label and seeing how we all want avoid at some point being hurt therefore changing what we say, do, show, losing our authenticity in the name of protection.
I enjoyed this so much — your honesty and vulnerability really came through in this reflective post. It actually reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: “Loving someone is giving them the power to hurt you, but trusting them not to.” I’ve always connected with that.
True love requires a level of vulnerability and trust that goes far beyond the surface. When you open yourself to someone — your fears, your flaws, your heart…you’re giving them the ability to hurt you deeply, yet still choosing to take the risk for the sake of experiencing love fully. And that choice to trust anyway is what makes love meaningful.
I love that quote, and could not agree more. Honestly, through the nature of my content, I see SO many people out there who have clearly been hurt, and swear off love, or keep love at a distance in the guise of being “wise”, and my heart breaks for them. Bluntly, you will never ever have a truly fulfilling life without loving others unabashedly, and without the love of them. Period.
Man, this is just so good…
I could talk about how great this song fits with what you’re describing, or how perfect that photo of a cracked open (geddit? cracked *open* and *cracked* open?) door is, or—most importantly—the way you show the true internal pushing and pulling of your heart’s needs, wants… ‘Eloquence’ is the word that comes to mind..
You share vulnerable truths about yourself, and that’s brave, and that’s a big deal.
I think today, it hits me again just how vulnerable it is to love and be loved in return. Sounds so simple on its face, but to truly do this, you can’t hide behind a well-crafted persona or the ‘you’ being loved isn’t ever really you at all.
But, like you describe, if we unfurl our insides and let ourselves be seen..actually seen..including the parts we don’t much like.. we risk the ultimate rejection, don’t we?
And what if we don’t survive that? Because that’s how scary it can feel sometimes, I think.
Two internal instincts—the need to truly connect with someone else and the need to protect your own, deepest sense of self so that you actually feel worthy of being loved in the first place—these forces are at war within two people while all four forces cavort around on a minefield of possible hurts between the two.
It’s a wonder we’re out here still tryin’, am. I. right? 😂
I think maybe your answer would be that a really big love would be worth a really big risk.
And, against all my hard-earned-from-past-hurt ‘good judgement’ badges, I would absolutely, wholeheartedly agree.
“It’s a wonder we’re out here still tryin” is the realest shit ever. I legit think about that virtually daily. You’re so right about that, and the push pull of the two identities - protection and connection. We have an innate drive for both, how do we navigate who takes the drivers seat? I honestly don’t have an answer to that, not an eloquent one, I think it all depends on the other person and which identity they’re currently wrestling with. Hmmm, sounds like a great topic to explore!
I love this so much. Especially for the ones who've been hurt in the past. Sometimes we need to let go of control and let things happen naturally. We sometimes fight our own destiny and paths. I think we can all still be open to new possibilities in a safe way without compromising our boundaries.
I also know most ppl will read this and say yea but what if I let them in and get hurt? So to those ppl, at least be open to new possibilities, always remember u can still have your boundaries if it's not going your way. But what if it does? Either way you learn from it or you develop great connections.
Reading you transported me to the illusion of talking to an aware avoidant, and then to removing the label and seeing how we all want avoid at some point being hurt therefore changing what we say, do, show, losing our authenticity in the name of protection.